New beginnings

A new year is ahead of us: new beginnings, a clean plate, new year’s resolutions, letting go the old, the mistakes, the failures, the regrets. But before that: we have to close off December…
Many of us will recognize that the ‘To Do’- list became way longer than it was at the beginning of the year. So much to do in so little time… That makes you wonder: how does this happen year after year? Do the good intentions disappear halfway through? Do we lack planning? Are our standards too high?

Looking for answers? There is probably not one good answer to those questions. And like we tell every client: we don’t have all the answers to your questions or problems, we DO have more questions. These questions may show you a DIFFERENT perspective. A perspective that could lead you to YOUR answers. Finding your own answers helps because it comes together with a greater understanding and motivation to change your situation.

So as a holiday gift, since we are in the holiday season… we have some questions for you!

What if…. we could start again, each day? Start every day with good intentions. You can also stop every day, with a bad habit for example. What if you can replace a bad habit with a healthy habit instead, every day? What would you do?
Not to make you less motivated… But do you know how many days it takes to start a new habit? They say between 18 and 254 days… so don’t expect to just decide on the 31st of December to change a habit and accomplish that on the 1st of January. Changing a habit Is hard work! On average at least 66 days for behavior to become automatic.
Okay that is an answer, but the question is what are you going to do? That depends on you! Your motivation, persistence, confidence, circumstances, all influencing factors. But more important, expectations.

When we talk to people who are struggling with challenges in life (like we all do every now and then), we often start with looking back at how the week went. “I am sorry but it was a bad week, I failed again!” is a common response. Focusing on failures can make your motivation drop. But it depends on how you look at failures. Was it a failure? Or was it a try out? When you look at the event as a learning experience, it might change your perspective. Isn’t that how we learn? By trial and error?

We are living in a society where results are important: “get good grades at school! So you can find a good job! Make enough money, so you can provide for your beautiful (future) family! Build a nice house! Drive a fast car!”. And if we have all that, then what? And if you don’t have all that, then what? December 2019, thinking about our good intentions, the outcomes of 2020. Living in the future with our thoughts. What about the process? The try outs? The in between moments? In that sense: what about the here and now? What about LIVING?

Progress is a dance, a few steps forward and a few steps back. When you are aware of what you are doing, every step is progress. It can be of help to stop every now and then and reflect. Be proud of how far you’ve come. All the wisdom of lessons learned. Allow yourself to take a step back, you are worth it. Accept the dance and you will grow!